In the World where Equality is instructed, debated and discussed over and over again. There has always been grey areas when it comes to “How should the ideal date end”. What exactly should be Modern dating guide for men?
Not being pushy, smelling awesome, being gentlemen, splitting the bill? This article will demystify some of the traditional age old redundant practices of dating.
Part 1: Getting date
Since forever man are expected to initiate the date and it holds true in modern days as well. There can be exceptions for people by how, where and why their date was established. You met through mutual friend? or Tinder. One thing is definite – how we initiate our relationship could influence its future.
Dating has evolved in last few years with millions of Indians now choosing to date online. Irrespective of dating site selected, you need to leave expectations at door.
Online dating has benefited women by giving her more power. She can choose who she can speak with. While some might argue online dating removes romance or serendipity – finding the person who fits to you out of a population of over 7 billion people, is still pretty damn serendipitous.
Also, If you are looking for particular outcome for the date, employ the art of communication. If you are looking for serious relationship, take affectionate approach. If you are looking for physical intimacy, increase flirtations. Do not presume her presence on Tinder is just to get sexual relationship.
Identifying the friend-zone
Modern women are more complicated, one can continue to get mixed messages. You hear things, like – “it’s the man’s fault for not making a move!” Or “it’s her fault for leading you on!” There could be debate with many frustrating heads with no conclusive evidence.
I recommend getting answer straight without wasting time. First, establish if she’s interested. Pay her compliments, if she reacts positively, take her on date. Tell her, what you have been wanting to ask her.
A man who asks out is clearly confident, while a man who skirts around it shows uncertainty.
Part 2: Arranging the date
Traditional date might sound like responsibility of men, but modern men can collaborate with his date to make sure it works for both parties.
To show interest, suggest the restaurant, event or activity. Consider where you both could be comfortable. Get a sense of her. You may need to compromise, but you can agree on somewhere where you both will be reasonably comfortable.
Continue the date
If you are done with your movie or restaurant or event and still wish to continue. It is wise to suggest, if she would want to grab a drink at another place after this or hang out for a coffee.
Make sure that the other option is nearer to the location of your date so the night can continue to be a success!
Part 3: On the date
Paying the bill
The most debatable topic with different arguments surrounding the subject, sometimes surpassing gender barrier. So, in our modern dating world where gender equality is a hot topic, should men pay the bill?
To be honest, there could be 100’s of different views, each argument being unique from another. Although men tend to be more invested in age old custom that they should pay for on first date. Here is my view on it.
For men – When the bill reaches the table, wait for split second. If she goes for it, it means she has intention to split. Pay the first time and ask her to pay the next time when you both meet.
For women – If you do not wish to be treated like dolls and need the self respect, go for the bill split. By splitting bill you show that you don’t just demand respect but also equality.
It can be challenging to differentiate between modern and old-fashioned dating customs. Here are some traditions for First dates, we have categorized under three categories.
categories, outdated (obsolete), trending (popular) and debatable (contextual).
- Bringing chocolates / flowers
- Pulling chair for her
- Waiting three days before calling her after first date.
- Holding the door open
- Giving her your jacket
- Picking up something if she drops it
- Holding hands
- Walking on the right side of a woman when walking down the street
- Coming to the door when picking her up
Part 4: Tips for a successful end to the date
Heads up! Don’t expect anything at the end of first date, it really depends on the type of person you have met. However, here are some successful flirting tips to increase the likelihood of date closure in your favor.
- Make healthy eye contact through the date.
- Mirror her body language
- Continual, but appropriate touching
Here is a breakdown of suggestions for appropriate flirtatious touching:
- Comment on her hands and have her compare yours and hers
- Gently inspect her bracelet or ring on her hand
- When you hold the door open for her as you enter the restaurant, rest your hand on the small of her back
- Sit next to each other shoulder to shoulder where appropriate
- Put your arm around her if it’s a cold walk home
- Casually touch her upper forearm when making a point
Be aware of her personality, body language and chemistry when applying these techniques. It is important that you both feel comfortable to keep it fluid for you both.
Try to be aware of how she responds. If she insists on splitting the bill, it’s not necessarily a negative sign. It could just be her way showing she is invested in you.Read her signs, you need to establish your relationship dynamic and this is an excellent opportunity.